Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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