Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize