im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm at about main and main street
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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