i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
