I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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