Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
