Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
