i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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