in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
