Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
