The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Randomize
