i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
