the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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