dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
