$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
too bad you live with your parents still
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
