Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
