You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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