They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
