am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
