Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
