Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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