Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
