i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Soap is not a condiment
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
