You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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