I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
