You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
