Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
