i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
