so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
