god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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