yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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