2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
