new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
