Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
