I seem to have left my pride at pride
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
