omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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