Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
