Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
