i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
