Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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