so that wasnt chicken after all
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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