1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
