I am puke
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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