I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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