So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
