whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
