FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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