How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
