i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
