Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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