Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
