I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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